I got chris browned last night
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
