And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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