i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
