therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
