I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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