Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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