Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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