On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
