I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
