Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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