I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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