Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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