they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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