I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize