She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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