also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
