That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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