**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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