Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
