I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
