i jhust puked up my retainher.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
