I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
