Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
