btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
