someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
