I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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