he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize