I didn't shave. On purpose
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We got so high we made milksteak
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
