it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
