she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
