Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
