If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
