Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
