Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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