Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
