i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have post one night stand depression
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