I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
