I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
