So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
