I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
