Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
