All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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