Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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