Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
