Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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