This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize