There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
