Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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