I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We just shotgunned beers for America
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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