I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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