I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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