i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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