Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
