dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
