Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize