a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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