she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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