summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm both gender and math confused
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
