Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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