My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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