Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
