I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
