It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
