Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
