I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
wow bdsm is so cute
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
