just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
