I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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