Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Too much gin, very little bucket
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
