wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
