meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
