Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
