Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
