Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
