A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
