I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm really busy with my period
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