he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
