I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
