'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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