why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
