And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
