operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize