God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
